Isolation

Tuesday, 26. February 2013

Heartbreak is nothing; pain is nothing; loss is nothing. What really hurts is exclusion and humiliation. I said that and I stand by it, for ever, against all comers, including people who don’t like me and the way I talk. Anything that cannot be shared is far worse than anything that can be shared. Anyone who is so alone that they cannot even speak of what torments them is in unimaginable pain compared with those who can drone on about how much it hurts, how noble is their suffering, how unjust their predicament and how magnificent their recovery…

Mind your Mind

Wednesday, 1. July 2009

Originally posted on Ecademy in 2005; all my post there were intended as gentle irony.

The biggest illusion in our lives is mind-body duality. It happens because the mind dominates our attention. Shifting attention to the body is the most healing thing we can ever do. It opens up a whole new take on the narrative of destiny. You aren’t your mind or your spirit; you are your everything.

The good news is that you therefore do not have any “psychological” problems or “spiritual” path to follow. You don’t need to “improve” yourself or learn more, quite the opposite in fact.

Learn less; think less; spend less time on evolving and becoming. You already are.

You just need to recover that basic sense of you that is located primarily in your pelvic floor region. People who can utterly focus their attention on the body and resonate with its energies and stored shock can even re-experience their own conception, the moment when they first came in to existence. And before.

If you can do this you can more or less stop worrying about being noticed on Google and impressing people. Because you will be experienced by yourself and others as profoundly real.

Dogs can do this.

Remote co-sentience; can we read each other’s minds?

Monday, 29. June 2009

This slightly relates to my recent thread about questions and my general interest in the subject of alternatives to the interrogative. As far as I’m concerned this is a completely open questions that anyone can contribute to.

Sometimes I have the intuition that I know what someone distant is thinking, both consciously and perhaps unknown to themselves. Sometimes I am surprised by how well someone quite distant from me has anticipated my thoughts and actions. It is as if we shared a common, possibly telepathic space.

I know for an absolute certainty that my dog Beatrice (RIP) used to start scratching at the door a good ten minutes before I arrived home by car, when she could not possibly catch a scent to warn her. And don’t we all know that there are just too many stories about the remote co-sentience of domestic pets, family members, people in love simply to ignore the possibility that something non physical travels between beings not virtually on the Internet but without any explained connection “through the ether”…

Can we go further still and admit that people who dream of past lives may actually be tapping a genetic memory or a something even more mysterious left behind by those no longer still with us. Just visit any Nazi concentration camp if you want to test that theory: you can almost hear the damned calling out to you, or at least, your imagination is excited by something beyond reason…

The most extreme form of this theory would be where we assume that if only they would stop asking and start tuning in, then everyone can know anything that is out there being broadcast by anyone else. They used to lock people in a Bedlam for believing that, yet I am pretty sure that ex lovers and spouses can still tap in to their former partner’s progress through life and that parents can distantly follow their children during the gap year adventures enough to be justifiably worried.

Good poker players talk about “tells” that they say are little clues but even in online poker where you get no such clues you sometimes come up against and undefeatable player who seems to know exactly when to hold and when to fold even when the statistical odds are against them.

Native Americans would have no problem with these possibilities. How about us?

Aggression

Sunday, 28. June 2009

I recently had a eureka moment and I realised two things that seem true to me in most cases: the first is that aggression very often (very very often like maybe always) covers up anxiety, often something really trivial like a tidiness fetish or a desire to help you with something; often the aggressor is anxious that they don’t know how to be nice to you (and would like to). Aggression in this subtle sense is a mechanism for displacing disturbed identity/energy on the part of another person (and you just happen to be around to get the impact). Your world could be disturbed by another person who has no intention of any involvement with you simply feeling some performance anxiety of their own which may go back to their own family and ancestors and may even be locked in their tissue/DNA. Wow!

That explains why I try to avoid crowds and why the workplace can be such a torment for sensitive people: it’s a mass of competing energy systems radiating low level aggression, irritation, harsh words, indifference and competitiveness because THEY happen to feel a little bit bad in their own or their ancestors’ eyes.

Anyway, on to realisation two, which came from someone I spoke to, which is that underneath all aggression is something caught in the tissue and unresolved, a trauma, shock, whatever. And that people can’t feel relaxed enough to change their behavioural vibration until whatever it is (and leads to) unravels and resolves.

Which leaves me thinking that maybe I was right all along in always being attracted to gentle people. You can keep witticisms, charm, knowledge, business acumen, charisma, panache, liveliness, fascinating hobbies and travels, brilliant design sense and a lot of really useful ideas and contacts.

All I want in a friend is gentleness, some pleasant energy, a person to be with, an absolute freedom from (even good natured) aggression and absolutely no impatience, hurry, worry, anxiety, fear, lust to succeed or do better. You can keep all that edgy energy. I’d like to give up having to be on my guard in order to live with it. I want to be gentle.

I’m in virgin territory for me now because – though I get a thrill out of talking and sharing perceptions like this – my favourite activities all tend towards peacefulness.

Not everyone is like that, I have noticed. Some people are thrill seekers and If they can’t get it doing big things they will obsess with crosswords, write long and involved blogs, fill the  pages with meaningless chatter, get excited about sports and cars, insist on being positive about things all the time – great telesales results, boardroom coups, tough projects completed on time, opponents carved up, promotions won, power dressing and the hint of flirtation in the air and a hint of divorce at home – wow, it really is all too much… need some luxury and booze maybe, to come down to earth from the human jungle.

I am talking adrenalin economy here. Maybe we all have an adrenalin profile. Maybe sometimes a lethal one. Fight and flight with nowhere to go. Stress. Build up of chemicals in the tissues. Heart can’t take it. Bowels get irritable. Exhaustion sets in. Some become manic-depressive.

The alternative being…?

Questions, questions and questioons

Saturday, 20. June 2009

Questions can hurt. They can be arrows that stab into people and force them onto your agenda.
I am not talking about questions that are invited.I am talking about people trying to control an interchange by asking questions.

  • THE SMOTHERLY QUESTION FROM THE NICE GURU CARING LADY WHO MAKES YOU VULNERABLE WITH HER CONCERN AND OFFERS TO HELP YOU.
  • The Clever Intellectual question from the little professor who asks you something so he can move to an endgame that reveals your ignorance.
  • THE AUTOMATIC CHALLENGE, as used by rough people who want to bully you.
  • The airily vague question as used on social occasions by people who want to belittle you while pretending to be not really interested.
  • THE THERAPY QUESTION by someone who wants to get their hooks into you and understand you better, right, yeah?Come to think of it, I can hardly think of a time when the interrogative isn’t an assault on one’s boundaries, except between consenting adults who have a life together and need to check on things from time to time.So don’t ask me any questions, OK? Anything you are meant to know you can work out for yourself.Asking questions of other people could be just about the least valid tool there is for a) relating to people and b) finding anything out.

    First posted on Ecademy in 2006

Cancer, who needs it?

Wednesday, 17. June 2009

This thread is for people who have much to do with cancer, and possibly other serious illnesses that can wreck your life, either as a patient, a carer or just someone who is damned scared.


Say what you like but do not advertise miracle cures.


 
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