How do you find out about a person and death to all coaches…

Wednesday, 30. January 2013

How do you find out about a person?
Hands up all those who would say “Ask?”
I beg to differ. I think we have no right whatsoever to interrogate each other and expect answers, not to satisfy our curiosity and not even if we are pretending interest to get ourselves noticed. In fact if someone asks me a question I make it clear to them that they have overstepped a boundary and need my permission to get personal. Likewise, if someone is sitting in my living room and I am curious about them, I first ask if they would like to talk about whatever it is.
This may seem like a very high level of ethics to some but actually it’s the only thing that truly works. You cannot find stuff out by demanding answers. You find stuff out, if that really is your intention, by observing and noticing what you observe and looking for the spaces between the image and the reality. If there are very few space you have located an interesting person.
Some people pose questions in their “blogs” as if they were interested in our opinions when actually all they are trying to do is get noticed, get liked and make us respect them. If I ask a daft question in a “blog” I want you to know that I am joking, provoking and being satirical. Heaven forbid I should ever speak or write any words for any baser motive than the desire to communicate, illuminate, share experiences and learn about others.
Anything else is a tawdry insult and I will continue to hunt down such things when energy permits and throw them back in the faces of the idle manipulators who think they make clever personal branding for themselves.
If you wish to find out about things, that is different. You are asking for knowledge to be given to you and that is a totally different matter.
When “The Nice” dislike something I have said they usually reveal their true selves by coming back at me with a paternalistic/maternalistic question such as “Did you have a hard childhood, Steve?” Or some such crap. That’s when I go ballistic.
No one, no one on earth, has the right to use interrogation of any kind, even disguised as well-meaning understanding, to manipulate me or anyone else. If you are not intelligent and empathetic and insightful enough to learn by noticing then I’m afraid you will be stuck in ignorance for the rest of your life; if you want to ask me fake question to put me in my place I’m afraid you will fail every time.
Decent people feel affinity with what is true, even if they dislike kit. If they disagree they say so without resorting to sneaky attacks, most of which come as questions because that is the basic tool of the greatest menace of our time, to whit: coaches. Who abuse everyone they pretend to help with their reality-defining questions.
People rarely ask because they actually want to know. Their minds are already made up and they already know better than you. They ask because if they make you stand at attention to answer their questions they have dominated and manipulated you. Simple as that.
Death to all coaching whatsoever. And there’s no real money in it, so why the hell are they all doing it?

The sick and the fit… totally different species.

Wednesday, 23. January 2013

Sick people want their lives back; fit people need an escape from the burdens of life.

My farewell to Ecademy…

Tuesday, 4. December 2012

What say you, the kick-butt elite when you make these continual, dreary, childish sounds…Baa, baa, baa, beaear, ba…. Are you seeking to build your influence and reputation? What, by posting your finely polished turds of wisdom on a platform for clowns? You must be joking. Are you looking for loads of lovely random friends and contacts who might put you in touch with actual money-making propositions? Ha,bloody ha. Watch out you don’t lose out while you’re wasting your time, like you lost out when you bought your meaningless Blackstar. Looking for a mate, maybe?Newsflash: the pictures are all doctored from 20 years ago. So what having you actually been doing all this time?

It’s impossible to discuss anything because a) the place is full of nitwits, b) some moron will distract the thread with a pathetic display of, erm, humour and c) whenever something interesting starts up between people with some idea of what is going on a whole lot of ignorant newbies and returners and silly girls of both sexes chime in with their distracting nonsense. Oh, and the moment it gets true in any way you will be warned, chided, threatened and patronised by the Nice Police.

You are addicted, to, sorry, absolutely nothing at all. Ecademy was a dream that we kept going and we were conned. Lyndon was conned into thinking it is a viable business networking platform when actually it is nothing but a load of idle chatter and daft argumentation, people showing off and pretending to be experts…

Wot none of you seem to get is that Lyndon now owns what was Ecademy and has made it crystal clear that he knows best and he will do what he damn well likes with it. Your opinions count for nothing whatsoever. He needs to get back the money he invested and he thinks a few renaming tricks will do it, which is a might optimistic when people who have invested time in LinkedIn hoping it’s the next big thing are realising it leads to, you know, NO MONEY. There is no cheese in networking, folks, not unless you went to Eton or Yale and do it in private.

The corollary of this that makes you so unhappy is that, having spent years contributing content and being addicted to what you regard as your virtual home, it can be taken away and messed about after all.

I always said that Ecademy was nothing more than its content, that the business side is lame, facile, amateurish and laughable. And I was always right, which is why I was always attacked by the true believers, silly little people who think they’re in charge or thought-leaders or really really professional. They say I have no manners and that I am toxic and then they get patronising… What pleasure it will bring me to watch all such people topple uselessly over the cliff at the end of this futile road… Because Lyndon won’t need you. Thomas didn’t respect you. Nobody even likes you, no matter how stellar you think you are…

Alas, everybody, your home has been bought up by a speculator and the magician who was scamming you has walked away happy. There is no chance whatsoever of something with a daft oriental name competing with LinkedIn. It is too late. Ecademy should have remained a silly club for idiotic addicts, nitwits, blue meanies and bigged up zealots…

I have been the very soul of Ecademy and no I have lost patience with the same old stupid junk each day…

This is reality and you lot are…

Genius speaks.

Wednesday, 19. October 2011

When genius speaks, everything changes, however slightly, without anyone needing to work at it.

When mediocrity speaks we all have to figure out what, if anything, was being said.

On a beautiful word

Friday, 14. August 2009

I often sit reading a dictionary for fun. Sometimes a word will especially catch my imagination and I want to share it.

The word for today is VERSATILE

First used around 1605, apparently, derived from a Latin root meaning either many-sided or capable of turning depending on where you look, but surely so much richer since it became a common term and so much deeper in meaning than a word like adaptable because it hints at a gift or a power in the person you attach it to that I think crude is its true opposite.

A person with only one track in terms of ideas or behaviours, someone who prides himself on being consistent, that person seems pitiable to me. But the versatile person can produce different moods, different approaches, different ways of thinking and even different behaviours in an appropriate way that the boring among us just cannot do.

There, that should upset somebody who mistakenly thinks I’m getting at them.

Teacher’s pests

Tuesday, 21. July 2009

For the last sex yarrons I’ve been studying online networking styles of thought and expression, the same way you probably have only different I expect because you have a right to your opinion too…
Anyway, sod that, now that I couldn’t care less it’s starting to become clear to me that there are all sorts of infantile and idiotic styles through which people strive to be right all the time and top of the class, leader of the pack, part of the incrowd, or just “liked” or whatever.
I may comment on these more extensively as time goes by but the first type I want to talk about is the helpful teacher’s pet, the one who whenever you say something that could possibly be a question immediately bombards you with the most obvious answer as if you’re so damn stupid you can’t use Google yourself. This person is obviously still back in school and trying to impress everyone that they’ve remembered how to thunk and read the stupid books or whatever. I hate them. They never take any risks. They should be mocked, mercilously, especially the ones who give unasked for business and personal development advice at the same time as being obvious.
A close relative of this teacher’s pet is teacher’s snitch, the one who comes pounding in whenever you criticise the Germans or say anything remotely sexist, ageist, anti-anything they hold dear or inadvertently not environmental enough. This version of the thought police seems to be especially strong on the internet, I don’t know why. I never meet them in real life, or if I do they go straight in to shock and I don’t notice because I feel no empathy for the human mind whatsoever, only for the soul and the poor old body, those good bits that are constantly being bullied by the kids who want to impress teacher that we all carry within us and some people can’t help wearing on their sleeve.
I never give advice unless I am asked for it and I never give information except about myself if I think it might entertain or enrich someone else. They usually ignore me in any case, because they’re all so busy scoring points.

Things I do not admire

Wednesday, 1. July 2009

Ruthlessness
Stubbornness
Contrariness
Spurious facticity
Rigidity
Charm
Pointlessness
Automaticity
Chess
Theories
Ambition
Charisma
Smugness
Tidiness
Gossip
Wealth
Sports Utility Vehicles
Horror Movies
Solutions
Rescuers
Matronliness
Violence
Cunning
Secretiveness
Superiority
Fashion
Hierarchies
Witchcraft
Horse Racing
Myers-Briggs
Jungian Archetypes
Freudian Analysis
Derivatives Trading
Taxation
Torturers

I think the list is endless and that when I get around to a list of things I do admire it is likely at first to be rather shorter and it would start with

Humility

A good little game

Wednesday, 1. July 2009

Stupid little exercise but try this:

Pick someone you don’t care for and imagine saying to them:

What I like about you is…..

The result is quite liberating.

It become somewhat more challenging when you get to the next question: what I like about me is…

Knock yourself out

Monday, 29. June 2009

My favourite is gnarly, which different dictionaries define differently to mean anything from horrible to loud to simply gnarled (like an old tree). Actually the meaning I find most inventive isThe OC type usage where it means ill tempered in a cool sort of way. The Americans are brilliant at inventing new expressions. Would you like to share any?

Knock yourself out.

Networking fever

Sunday, 28. June 2009

Ecademy posts from recent months:

“Networking fever” is now considered the number one form of emotional disease in the world, some Australian scientists have claimed. All over the planet people have started “networking” and withdrawn from real life, seeing their virtual addiction as a source of imaginary friends and even as a way to earn a living. Some truly pitiful souls show a religious zeal, even consider it a “healing” experience for their afflictions, both physical and emotional. But ahead of them lies the tragedy of “blogger burnout”, the downside of the fever, a tragic state in which the victim finally realises that no one is really connecting with them and no money has come from all the effort they put in.

The solution? Just say NO. Ration yourself. Life is still life, just like it used to be. Go out and meet some real people and do some real work. The world will still be much the same tomorrow. Twitter does not give you back your life.

……………………………………….
Anyone else got nothing really to say? I rang my friend Enthusiasm but she was Skyping with someone else and I couldn’t face ringing my friend Depression because she never stops talking. Then I figured that they probably had nothing new to say either, so I came on here for some entrepreneurial advice and what did I find…

…………………………………………

Just thought you’d like to see a video of some well-known networkers on their hols. Skip the tedious intro so you get to the tedious meat.

…………………………………
Inspired as I have been by the increasing number of networking energineers (or should that be enterpernoirs? Ed.) who build their brand online with witty “jokes” and stories, I thought I’d have a crack at humour myself. Only trouble is, I’ve thought of the questions but but not the punchlines… Maybe those with a great deal of amusement wealth in their portfolio of expert skills and visions could help me just this once?

Q: Why did the butterfly flutter by?
A:

Q: Why did the global economy collapse?
A: ?????

Q: Why is “blogging” such a desperate activity that makes one cringe?
A: ?????

Q: Why is there just no point in anything anymore?
A: ?????

Have a go; you could win a token prize of a bouncing cheque signed by me personally.

……………………………………..

The sun was shining this morning so I thought I’d better diffuse some cheerful light to my fellow back-bedroom entrepreneurs. Questions will be taken at the end of the session.

I was filled with passion and the vision thing as a wave of emotional wealth swept over me just now and so I felt I just had to share the top tips we were given on my excellent 15 minute Master of Cheerfulness Marketing programme. So, top tips for not being happy, then; here goes:

1) discover your inner core in the next five minutes, spend a few weeks planning a new online strategy with yourself posing as an expert, fail to seduce any customers, blow a fortune on SEO and Adsense, go back to the day job in defeat

2) wind yourself up in an orgy of expert bombast where you live in a bubble from which you smile all the time and constantly output unwanted advice in a phony voice that drives people away

3) slowly build a huge network reputation for making trivial contacts and plagiarising already plagiarised articles which you post as your own and nobody reads in any case

4) devote all your days and evenings to twittering while you scratch your arms with shards of broken glass (do not try this at home)

5) find some lame jokes to tell so that you will be an embarrassing failure at popularity building

6) post slice of life “blogs” about your daily mishaps in a never-ending storm of exhibitionist self-promotion (men should think before trying this because their lives are not interesting)

7) go to the USA and expose yourself to any medium whatsoever for long enough that you become frantic, passionate, overbearing, mendacious, patronising, glib, ignorant and totally inappropriate; with this achieved return to sanity and distinguish yourself by writing thinly disguised (and of course patronising) blogvertorial about the latest MLM, affiliate marketing and cure for cancer scams

Have a lovely day and for goodness sakes BE HAPPY.

……………………………………….

Some popular networking personas:

Why are people moaning about the online conduct of other people when we all know it’s just a set of barely convincing and largely excruciating facades that give hardly any clue as to the real nature of the people you happen to think you don’t like very much. This is utterly silly if you stop to think but there are many people who seem to get some kind of charge out of condemning people they know nothing about. But then, as eny fule kno, self-righteousness is a delicious emotion.

My second category would be the mindless optimists who walk into this like online pub thingy every ten minutes and scream something very enthusiastic about being positive and making great connections. These people sometimes turn nasty the moment anyone demurs, however, revealing that their fluffy bunny persona is not quite so entrenched and enlightened as they might like you to believe. No, I do not want to join your “network”, thank you. It is merely an imaginary electronic list.

Category three, for me, would be those who cannot help but post every day about some new cure for cancer that happens to be available at some website they happen to be an affiliate of or which they can provide because they are distributors. I think that if you haven’t actually had cancer or lost a loved one to cancer it should be illegal for you to express an opinion about it, let alone think you understand it, let alone offer false hope for money, let alone add to the cruel lies that healthy people tell about sick people causing their own illness. It can and it may, so help you God, happen to you.

I’m sure there are many other useless categories available online and that you may be able to assist me in compiling a complete list. Thank you. I hope you found that polite enough. BRUTAL “blogs” will come at regular intervals from now so keep your eyes open for what to ignore if you are a really really nice fluffy person. I have as much right to my opinions and behaviours as you to yours and nothing has deterred me in the last six years online or the last 40 years off line.

…………………………………….

(You can see what moods I used to get in to when confronted with mindless “business networking” all day…)
Hi there, Networking Experts! I need your advice, and pronto….

Would it be good for developing my “personal brand” if I posted a few harmless little “blogs” asking people to get involved and answer questions. I mean: does that work?

I was thinking of asking something tame to begin with like: “Why do fools fall in love?” justified with a short splurge about obscure medical research in Australia connecting pheromones, obesity, Haikus and maybe astrology with something on YouTube thrown in….

Q1: What do YOU “think”?

Q2: what are your top ten tips for “networking”?

Q3: is it more effective in good English or should I self-righteously pretend to be slightly dyslexic to show that I’m a man of the people?

Thank you. Have a nice day.


 
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