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June 16th 2009; 11.16 am GMT

We touch the world and it touches us. We touch it physically, we touch it mentally, we certainly have an energetic symbiosis with it.

Nobody with consciousness has failed to notice the shifting moods of life incoming and projected out; everyone has asked themselves what happiness is and how come you never hold onto it. We are aware that our hold on life affects the life we end up leading and our language is full of words acknowledging this perception:

Some cling and some let themselves go; some get stuck in and some put everything in its place. Some want to hit targets and others prefer to relax, tune in and float downstream, Some are cool and others have the hots. Some feel the presence of God and others think science will explain every process… continues

Welcome to my humble megalomania
. Over the coming years I will say here the things I want to say about life and you are invited to respond. You haven’t heard of me before because…

I am 60 years old, this moment, now. As a youth I became the first person on earth to a make it through a combination of two especially insidious cancers and the massive doses of radiation used in treatment.

This has overshadowed my entire life and I have been slow to mature. Afterwards, I soon discovered that I could not “recover” my innocence: I was blocked from getting a job, buying a house, fathering children, all hope of a decent life and any chance that a woman would come along who was brave enough to commit her future to me… Ah yes, and I was mad with grief, like a wild animal, for many years to come…

So, despite having a voice I have given my life to getting myself straight again rather than generating written products. Sure, I’ve had two novels published, but they were rubbish. And I’ve run a business based on words for years. I’ve been a freelance journalist and I’ve penned the text for advertising campaigns and websites.

Basically, I don’t want to die leaving nothing behind. I’m writing a book which I hope may work and I’ll talk in depth about our universal problems of self-expression, somewhere along the line… along with many other things.

I am the kind of guy people call when there’s no one else left to turn to. I haven’t travelled that much but I’ve seen a lot of life and I don’t back down or run away from the truth. If you don’t like what I have to say then please just go away, because I will only collaborate with others in this place, not argue with them. All commercial invasions will be mercilessly deleted; all heartfelt additions in the discussion sections will be gratefully accepted.

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Steven Holmes
Oxford, UK       Also:

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p.s. I would just like to alert you to a tendency towards stasis caused by stale intellectual systems that can if left unnoticed ruin a forum for sharing ideas. If you read through online clubs that have prospered and grown tired you will notice the following features:

  • some people who like to dump long-winded ramblings that only they understand on everyone else
  • some people who insist on explaining their own philosophy or system over and over
  • some people who simply must relate everything to what they know and therefore change the course of every thread
  • some people who want you to engage with their emotions, point of view, problems whatever; these may be shy types or pompous extroverts (like me?)
  • the facile dumping of references to books, gurus, other websites, ancient history or religions and formulae that are supposed to have answered everything, though nothing has been answered

The satisfying debate is here, live now, between us. Can we keep it that way. Can we relate to each other as people and sensibilities and not just ideas. Can we avoid dumping advice and stale wisdom. I will try my best to keep things open and anyone is welcome to contact me to start their own thread or even a section if they have enough commitment.

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